( the first breath was shallow, but the next returned with more force. ) Yeah, I. I get it. Just. Well. I'm not stupid enough to think I can hide everything for the people looking, obviously.
I'm as covert as I can be to prevent that anyway, try to keep my face out of the media so people don't recognize me at a glance, and I can just blend into a crowd whenever I need to. I already live with the expectation someone might find my apartment at any time, and I'll have to bail for elsewhere, so obviously that danger exists here too, me coming over at all.
But it's something I want to be able to control, too. Even if I know I can't really.
( he paused briefly to take the wine, drinking down a generous sip, that would do nothing to really help calm his nerves, but at least it tasted good and match nicely with the prepared meal. )
It makes me anxious. People knowing too much. It's. I'm not ashamed either, about it. With the right people, especially, like Foggy or Karen. Maybe Sam, if it comes to that. But how do we know people like Chelsea aren't gonna take it the wrong way and gossip maliciously? Find someone to tell just to hurt us cause she didn't get her way? And maybe it's not her. Maybe it's a friend she tells it to in passing that doesn't like it instead, does it on her behalf.
The way information spreads is the most difficult to control. And I don't want that in our lives. I don't want people knowing and bringing it up casually like they have a right to scrutinize a private relationship they're nowhere near. I. I love you so much, but we already have so much going on in our lives. We don't need any of that complicating things more.
no subject
I'm as covert as I can be to prevent that anyway, try to keep my face out of the media so people don't recognize me at a glance, and I can just blend into a crowd whenever I need to. I already live with the expectation someone might find my apartment at any time, and I'll have to bail for elsewhere, so obviously that danger exists here too, me coming over at all.
But it's something I want to be able to control, too. Even if I know I can't really.
( he paused briefly to take the wine, drinking down a generous sip, that would do nothing to really help calm his nerves, but at least it tasted good and match nicely with the prepared meal. )
It makes me anxious. People knowing too much. It's. I'm not ashamed either, about it. With the right people, especially, like Foggy or Karen. Maybe Sam, if it comes to that. But how do we know people like Chelsea aren't gonna take it the wrong way and gossip maliciously? Find someone to tell just to hurt us cause she didn't get her way? And maybe it's not her. Maybe it's a friend she tells it to in passing that doesn't like it instead, does it on her behalf.
The way information spreads is the most difficult to control. And I don't want that in our lives. I don't want people knowing and bringing it up casually like they have a right to scrutinize a private relationship they're nowhere near. I. I love you so much, but we already have so much going on in our lives. We don't need any of that complicating things more.