( the grip against his arm tightened. it wasn't that he'd never thought about it, but the timing of it was just. difficult to protect. not with hydra still out there. not with people tangential to hydra or worse still doing business like nothing ever happened.

he was torn between duty, responsibility, and love. and there wasn't a real answer. none of the options satisfied all ends.

maybe he really wouldn't be enough for matt. not like this. )

It's not something I can negotiate. I can't just. Ignore all the obstacles and. And.

( taking an anxious breath, his head shook with resignation. )

I. I'm not. Fighting against it or trying to deny any of what I feel. But I can't determine any of the rest when it's not in my hands anyway. I don't. Know what you want me to say. I.

I'm sorry.